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The Blue & Gray Press | December 16, 2017

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Obama-Biden Rally: Top 5 Reasons it Sucked

By JOHN SHERIDAN

The days leading up to last Saturday were full of excitement and political fervor for some, anticipating the live presence of Senator Barack Obama on UMW’s campus. I have a personal aversion to politics, politicians and people who get really worked up over politics and politicians.

It is by no means apathy; it is a fierce antipathy. However, even I was excited about the prospect of seeing and hearing Obama in the flesh. Turns out, it was not exciting, and may have in fact sucked. Maybe you can help me decide.

1. The rain.
I parked on some street a few blocks away from Sunken Road, and almost on cue as I get out of my car around 5 p.m., it begins to drizzle. Then it starts to pour, and before I even make it to campus I am completely soaked.
And it doesn’t stop. “But this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” I tell myself, “It’ll be so worth it.”

2. The mud.
With a lot of rain and thousands of people mulling about hopelessly trying to find a place where you could actually see anything, campus was promptly desecrated.
Which I’m not against the idea of, but not while I’m in the middle of it. My shoes are ruined.

3. You couldn’t see
If you weren’t one of the first 5,000 to be let in the pigpen in the center of Ball Circle, you were doomed to stand around in the mud and stare at the back of the Port-a-johns, strategically placed where they would obstruct the views of absolutely everyone.

4. Not even staying to hear Obama.

Because at that point, I was soaked to the bone and I’d stared at enough Port-a-john, thank you. I watched the debate the previous night, and I heard what I wanted to hear out of this man. So now my rationale is this: nothing he’s going to say at the University of Mary Washington is going to be half as important, and it’s all going to be scripted anyway.
If he gets elected, then I can’t wait to hear everything he has to say. If he doesn’t, then standing here in the rain will have been for a lost cause. Come to think if it, it was anyway. So I left!

5. I went to a bar instead.
All I had to do was crawl back into the warm, loving arms of my favorite local dive and I felt like a million bucks. Once I was slightly drier with frothy beverage in hand why I was even feeling good enough to talk about “politics.” As for speeches from talking heads in the pouring rain, I’ll leave those to the political junkies. May you never go clean.
Now that I’ve reviewed my experience, I think I’ve decided. It sucked. If the guy said anything monumental or unforgettable that I missed… keep it to yourself.