By Landon James
Well, the time has come. Your blood pressure has risen considerably and it’s not from the extra salt Seacobeck puts on their food to try and make it taste like real food.
Yes, I am talking about Satan’s little gift to students…exams. But fear not, for I am here to show you five easy ways that you can avoid stress and come out of exams still breathing somewhat regularly.
5. Take up Yoga.
Yoga has been scientifically proven to reduce stress and promote a healthy mind, body and soul. Taking a little time out of your day to meditate will not only ease your mind, but will also help you begin to discover your inner consciousness, which leads me to my next survival tip.
4. Discover Nirvana.
Meditate a little, say “Om”, drift subconsciously around the clouds and the universe and you are all set. In Nirvana there are no exams, but I am pretty sure Jerry Garcia and Gandhi hang out there every once in awhile. Best of all, Nirvana is free and it lasts you a lifetime and another lifetime and another lifetime.
3. Eat cookie dough ice cream.
Nothing really lifts one’s spirits more than sitting down to a nice chick flick with a big tub of cookie dough ice cream. Guy or girl alike it does not take a debilitating break up to constitute a night in front of the tube while consuming and excruciating amount of yummy, delicious, fattening, stress-relieving calories. Not only does eating cookie dough ice cream reduce your stress, but if you eat enough raw eggs maybe you will get salmonella and then you will have a legitimate reason to postpone your exams. Avoiding stress is all about thinking long-term.
2. Break Something.
Nothing gets one pumped as much as showcasing their amazing might and strength. It only takes a short walk to McDonald’s to buy a happy meal and get that prized item of destruction: the toy. Taking out your anger on a poor, defenseless little princess or racecar toy is just the boost in self-confidence one might need to remind themselves that they are all that and a bag of chips. So, take out your frustration and let your stress shatter into a million pieces on the pavement. It’s a metaphor of getting rid of your stress…get it?
1. Quit school.
This is the ultimate way to avoid stress associated with exams. If the stress is ultimately too overwhelming, just take out the heart. Without school there are no professors, no deadlines, and no exams. Basically, there is no problem. However, there is the whole I-am-going-to-be-working at-a-fast-food-joint-for-the-rest-of-my-life-making minimum-wage-and-spitting-in-people’s-hamburgers-because-they-treat-me-like-crap thing, but hey, at least Burger King does not have midterms or final exams.
Who knows, maybe they actually have very good part-time benefits, you don’t know until you try. You may think that this is going a bit far, but how serious are you about getting rid of your stress? Dire times call for dire choices with ultimately dire consequences, but if your stress is gone that is really the ultimate goal.
With this small bit of survival and stress-relieving tips there is no reason that every one of you on campus should not be completely stress (or enrollment) free during the upcoming exams.