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The Blue & Gray Press | August 18, 2019

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Sexclamations: Warm Weather Brings Short Skirts and ‘Ogling’ Eyes

Sexclamations: Warm Weather Brings Short Skirts and ‘Ogling’ Eyes

This column was originally titled: “Females’ Clothing Choice To Blame for Men’s Lewd ‘Ogling'”
It was changed to better reflect the column’s satirical content.

As spring approaches and the weather gets warmer, we all naturally change our winter wardrobes to appropriate spring attire. When women make the decision to wear their summer clothes, they are perpetuating a terrible, lecherous problem that they usually complain about called the ‘ogling conundrum.’

Ogling is a basic term for gawking at females in ways that they probably don’t want you to and is generally considered a problem initiated by men. The truth, however, is that it starts with women.

Ladies, while choosing which dress to wear on a warm, sunny day may seem relatively harmless, it enables the vicious ‘ogling’ cycle. This is because humans, including females, naturally wear less clothing and expose more skin during the spring and summer months.

This allows for other people to see more skin on women’s bodies in areas usually covered during winter months or in extremely conservative areas, like Alabama and Iran. Most of the time, the skin shown off in spring and summer female clothing tends to be the breasts, otherwise known as gourds, bouncing Buddha’s or boobs.

The problem is, despite being bombarded by images of these delicious pieces of the female anatomy, guys still find them very intriguing and fascinating when viewed in real life. Another problem is that guys have absolutely no will power and are rendered completely incapable of thought when near good-looking women.

Therefore, whenever guys can see some of this highly valued skin peeking out, they become very distracted by it. So distracted, in fact, that they often forget many things like where they were going, what they were going to do there, their name and the fact that they are now drooling.

Because men are very focused on viewing this breathtaking scenery, they tend to forget that other people can see them too. This leads to the woman with the breathtaking scenery noticing that she is the recipient of unwanted attention. Most of the time women are offended and insulted; at the very least, they act disgruntled about it when they gossip about the event later with their girlfriends.

Despite this, their clothing style doesn’t usually change, and that means the whole scenario will repeat itself at some point in future, thus continuing the vicious cycle of ‘ogling.’

To be fair, women are guilty of doing this to men too, but they are much better at not getting caught. Not only that, but men consider being ‘ogled’ an honor and worthy of exchanging hi-fives with the rest of the guys.

In short, men are weak creatures that cannot control what they do, so it is up to women to put a stop to this immoral epidemic of lewd behavior. Guys will always stare at scantily clad women, so ladies must be aware of that and accept the consequences of how they dress.


  1. Haley C.

    Okay, I will give credence to the fact that anyone, man or woman, exposing a great deal of flesh will probably be looked at.

    That said, it is disrespectful and downright ludicrous to assume that men are too “weak” to control how respectful they are towards women, or that women should alter their clothing choices to accommodate men who might otherwise disrespect them.

    This article is offensive on several levels, but I’ll leave it at this: regardless of whether or not you agree with someone’s clothing choices (or lack thereof) it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to disrespect them for that fact. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, respect is respect and it goes both ways.

  2. Charles Girard

    Stating that men are incapable of looking away from women’s bodies in spring/summer clothing is not only untrue but an unfair generalization of men – frankly as a man I’m offended.
    A frequent stereotype of men is that we are uncontrollable, sexually-driven hounds that are only distracted by naked women, video games and beer. However, there is great diversity among men, and while most men many think that the male gender as a whole is sex-crazed, most men are not that way. If your girlfriend was wearing a low cut shirt at a dinner where you were first meeting her parents, would you look at her chest? Probably not.

    Second, this article perpetuates victim blaming. Basically, the thesis of this article is that by wearing less clothing when it’s warm, women invite sexual attention from men. While not quite as extreme, this is the same line of thinking that thrusts victim blaming upon rape victims – “h/she was asking for it by walking alone at night.” Just like men and women do not not ask to be raped by walking alone, women do not ask for men to stare at their “delicious pieces of female anatomy” by wearing shirts or shorter skirts.

    I understand that this article was mostly a joke, but it still perpetuates myths that generalizes entire sexes and genders, and keeps those sexes and genders apart.

  3. Kate

    … I kinda just wanna find a really hot chick, pay her to dress very scantily, and just parade her in front of him. I don’t approve of women dressing like sluts, but to say we can’t wear things like low cut sundresses because men can’t control their dicks pisses me off. Yes, some women do it to get attention, but the fact that you’re saying men can’t control the urge to stare at women is completely idiotic and insulting to men. Maybe it’s just you, and I wouldn’t doubt it, so stop shoving your personal stereotype onto everyone else, the same with women.

  4. Haley C.

    Also, seriously? You’re just going to slap the vague umbrella term of “conservative” on an entire state and a whole country? Come on man, have some creativity at least.

    This problem doesn’t “start with women.” It starts with individuals such as yourself who are unwilling to break away from stereotypes and the status quo and start living in a way that respects ALL PEOPLE.

  5. Andrew Nelson

    So basically what you’re saying is that the problem should be ignored and everyone should keep thinking the (wrong) way that we do? That seems like it’ll only make the problem worse.
    How about this:
    How about instead of gawking at women because they want to dress how they do, we respect their bodies and respect their right to wear whatever they want. Men are not weak, women are not weak. Ignorance is weak. Perpetuating that by blaming it on women’s clothing is ignorant, sir.

  6. Lauren

    THIS is why we need a Feminist club on campus.

  7. Hey, women are guilty of ‘ogling’ too. I’ve been distracted by buff, shirtless men jogging while I’m driving and I’m sure many other women have done the same. It’s not just a “guy thing”

  8. Ellen

    Way to celebrate women’s history month.

  9. Anthony Seippel

    So let me get this strait. Guys are, to not beat around the bush as this article did, horn dogs with add easily distracted by any and all good looking women? And women are to blame for all of it? Ya. Some girls need to dress more modestly. But some guys need to have more respect for women.

  10. McLane Heckman

    Is this a joke? If it is, I am sorry for those you call friends, Mr. Sherwood, for they must not laugh often. If it is not, then this newspaper and the editors which so needed to fill space with this surely are. I normally do not spend time on this website as I tend to find the National Enquirer more informative, but seeing as this piece moved me to near sickness, I thought it might as well be sick here.

    Lest I appear to be meeting this author on mutual ground, or to be playing into the maelstrom of controversy the editors may have intended (I can think of no other reason to publish this), I would still like to point out that this is the same argument used by defense attorneys to acquit those accused of rape.

    Mr. Sherwood, if not for your own sake, but for the sake of those around you and those who are now exposed to your points of view, as well as any women which are now or may become a significant part of your life (to include your mother) please sign up for Dr. Vasey’s Intro. to Feminism course (PHIL 220) next semester and open your eyes.

  11. Connor

    This is a horrible article. I will agree that poeple have to take responsibility for what they wear, but the blantant sexist termanology used throughout was offensive.

  12. Alyssa

    I can’t tell if this is a joke or an attempt at serious contemplation on the subject. If serious, honey you are one step away from saying that if a woman is raped she was probably asking for it.

  13. Danielle Purpura

    Um, excuse my language, but this is totally bullsh**. Please don’t try to play off your own personal shortcomings as all male’s inability to control themselves. Most men do it just fine, thank you. Despite what you may like to think, most men are NOT weak creatures. I’m tired of this stupid excuse being used over and over to apologize for their less-than-charming actions. Man up and own up to your actions, you are not weak, you’re just idiotic.
    And just for you information, I wear those ‘revealing clothes’ during the summer because, guess what, IT’S HOT. I’d rather wear a low-cut top than sweat all day long, thank you. And for when it’s not smoldering hot Virginia weather, I dress the way I do to please MYSELF. No. One. Else. No one. This kind of logic is only one step away from “Yeah, so maybe I did rape her, but she was wearing a short skirt… she was just begging for it!!”
    Also, I can’t tell if you’re extremely brave or extremely stupid to be posting this the week before the Vagina Monologues are performed on campus.
    “My Short Skirt is Not an Invitation” anyone?

  14. not totally accurate

    Many women may come off like they are offended by this, but on the inside, they are actually flattered (unless the guy doing the “ogling” is a creeper, then we may actually be a bit “disgusted”). Not flattered in a way that would make us consider the individual doing the “ogling,” but it rather just taken simply as a complement. Everyone should dress the way they want, or dress for the reaction they want, but just because we say one thing, does not mean we aren’t thinking something totally different 😉

  15. MC

    Oh, right. It’s absolutely MY fault that YOU cannot control yourself. How can there possibly be no culpability for both parties involved? That is ridiculous.

    Does it mean I get to tell you how to dress too? Because I have some significant issues with men’s fashion. Do I get to aggressively take away your right to wear what makes you feel comfortable?

    You know what it sounds like when you say women have to “accept the consequences of how they dress”? You’re saying that any unwanted sexual attention or aggression is because the woman was asking for it.

    When you think about this article, think about the women in your family. Are you willing to put this type of blame on your sister or your mother?

    I really hope this is a joke.

  16. Anonymous

    I do believe that this fine gentleman is correct on all accounts. These melons that are spoken of are quite frankly out and flying around as we speak. It is up to the woman to keep them in check, otherwise they will be ogled upon. Males are susceptible to looking at moving objects, and due to the amount of jiggle upon campus walk, men are complaining about headaches, whiplash and more frequently wrist pains. From the constant head-turning and high fives, it is now the time to keep covered up unless it is in the bedroom or by yourself.

    If the ogling doesn’t work for ya,

    Why not try to wear the burka.

  17. Anonymous

    There is a feminist club on campus.

    It’s called the Seaco kitchen.

  18. Magan

    To Anonymous:
    Troll harder, bro.

  19. Michele

    This article is offensive to everyone. These are exactly the type of ideas which perpetuate rape culture and I think you should be ashamed for publishing this.

  20. Lauren


  21. Ashley

    Are you kidding me??? You are an illogical idiot and I completely agree w/ most of the people here. But what I want to know is why would you EVER consider writing a piece like this and why would the paper’s editors EVER publish it. Even if it’s meant as a joke – which, I must say is feasible b/c the terminology is just lame. “Vicious cycle of ogling”? Really? – this should NEVER be published. There is a difference between an editorial and slanderous contempt of women. Obviously, whoever slipped this into the paper needs to brush up on their journalism skill.

  22. Simran K.

    Mr. Sherwood,
    I’m damned if I write to this acknowledging your stupidity and I’m damned if I don’t letting you walk away thinking its okay to write about women this way.

    I see you are doing a great job at covering the efforts of the UMW students to celebrate women history’s month by focusing on women their breasts and skin (clearly that’s all there is to blame for sexual harassment, assault and about women in general).

    Women naturally wear less clothing? Do you know how stupid that sounds? The amount of clothing on your skin doesn’t have anything to do with the way people view women. Women and men could wear all the clothing in the world, it doesn’t stop men or women from sexual harassing someone. I hope that you engage in a dialogue with the men who are “ogling” in your life and tell them to respect women. I hope you learn to respect women, I hope you stop blaming women/men for the sexual harassment they suffer because of the way they dress.

    This is a sad day for a school whose legacy stems from being a school that was for women.

    Shame on you. There was a time when a woman had to bare her breasts to ask “Am I not a woman too?” Today showing off her breasts make her a victim to dehumanization still. Damn. we damned if we dressed, we damned if ain’t dressed.

  23. Calvin Sherwood

    Hey folks,
    glad to see you guys are taking an active interest in Sexclamations! I apologize to all those who took this article seriously instead of as a satire; looks like humor columns at UMW are no laughing matter.

  24. Sandy

    People like you [writer of this bull**** and the people who said it was ok to print] make me SOOOOOOOOOO glad I’m a hermit.

    1: Please learn what real journalism is. Then go report some REAL news.

    2: Research rape culture and realize you’re contributing to it, and that is NOT ok.

    3: Learn to respect women AND men before generalizing them and putting them on blast for what are surely your own shortcomings.

    4: GROW UP, THEY ARE JUST TITS FOR F***’S SAKE!!!! If you can’t help yourself from making a sexual object out of every pair of baby feeders you see, YOU have a problem, not the women weilding said feeders.

  25. ES

    I appreciate the humor that you portray in this article, and I understand that you are merely exaggerating the truth (or at least that’s what I’m going to attribute it to). You use some hilarious descriptions, and as a woman, I do not take offense to this, but only because I am assuming you meant this in good humor (correct me if I’m wrong). Anyways, enjoyed this article — thought it was pretty funny — I just hope you weren’t REALLY using said reasons as an honest truth.

  26. Olivia Snider

    I can understand the satirical nature of the article, but that doesn’t meant that it avoids showcasing some of the most harmful stereotypes that are being perpetuated. I mean, just look at the first tag: “blame women.” The point isn’t that women aren’t provoking arousal from men by how they dress; they very well may be. Still, there is a huge difference between having desires and feelings and acting on them and this article implies that, for men, there isn’t. They are allegedly “men are weak creatures that cannot control what they do.” And, though the article does not specifically address sexual assault or rape, this logic can be wrongly extended to it, and unfortunately often is: a woman is “asking for it,” when she dressed provocatively. But, honestly, ladies, how many of us are thinking “how many times can I get oogled at today?” when we slip on that favorite low-cut tank in the spring? Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s to boost your self-esteem, or maybe even to attract the attention of certain people, but it’s NEVER to be treated as an object. So, contrary to this article, “it is [NOT] up to women to put a stop to this immoral epidemic of lewd behavior.” It’s the behavior, not the cause, that is the problem, and so that means it’s up to the guys.

    I’m honestly disappointed that such a poorly-executed satire with such glaring statements of stereotypes was published in the Bullet. This could have been executed much more subtly for the desired humorous effect without offending over half of the student body.

  27. Jillian-Rose

    Wow, I cannot believe all of you who cannot take a joke. That is what’s wrong with people, you just want to victimize yourself, and if someone is not being “politically correct,” then you use it as an excuse to wine about how bad you have it or how unfair the world is. Get over it! Oh and btw, the last thing we need on this campus is a club for feminists!

  28. Anonymous

    Dearest responders,

    U mad, broads?

  29. Anonymous

    You guys are completely oblivious to the fact that this was a HUMOR column. Take your feminist ideals elsewhere; the reason that the article had to be written in the first place was because of just this. Women SHOULD take responsibility for the way that they dress, because we know full well that the clothing was, more likely than not, designed to flatter our assets and make us look more attractive in the first place. Harmless ogling is not meant to be an attack on your femininity, and let’s be honest, we take it as flattery anyway.

  30. Anonymous


    Can I marry you? You seem to be the most awesomist person on here (excluding you, Calvin Sherwood…you sir, are my hero).

    And OH WOW OH GOLLY OH GEE SUCH A terrible thing to post on here. I’ve been waiting for my sandwich for over a day now.

    This article is only as offensive as you all make it. In all honesty, there’s comedic gold here, and you all are just too busy dawdling at your stool. Yes, it stinks. Now please take your noses out of it and lighten up.

  31. Andrew Nelson

    Even if this is satirical, how is this something that should be joked about?
    Degrading people is not funny, even if it is satirical.
    What’re you going write next? An satirical article about black people?
    Merely adding in “humor column” does not give you free range to write about whatever you want. Nor does it make it funny. This is not The Onion.
    In addition: If you look at the responses from some of the other men on this discussion, they clearly aren’t joking about it and are trying to be offensive.
    Humor is supposed to be obvious, or at least markedly so. What you have written here is ammunition for men to remain misogynistic and to perpetuate a culture that treats women as less than equal.
    Of course this is just in a school newspaper, so who cares, right?
    Why don’t you go up to some women next time you’re out and about on campus and introduce yourself as the guy who wrote that sexist article in the Bullet. See how that goes over.

  32. Hey y’all this is Bill, sorry I can’t be with you at the UMW campus in person, I’m still off celebrating Spring Break with Monica (Shh! I told Hill’ I was helping the Japanese). This kind of misogynistic humor is exactly what’s wrong with America. While I get the joke and understand the sentiment, a half-way decent man can keep from staring at a woman’s breasts. Besides, everybody knows: It’s the cankles, stupid!

  33. Justin

    Keyword: Satire.

    Here is a pretty accurate definition of Satire
    “The use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.”

    Calm down, this is not a great insult to the female gender, this is satire. Damn good satire at that.

    I understand everyone is upset, but most of your comments are completely unacceptable and far more insulting then what Calvin wrote.

    Shame on any of you who evoked “Rape Culture”. This is shock terminology that does little to help your cause. Let’s be civilized, and take a collective deep breath. Thanks.

  34. Cassandra

    First of all, I’d like to say that, satire or not, there are many elements of this piece I agree with.

    Ladies, you get what you put out there. If you dress lewdly, you’re going to get lewd responses from men. Period. Perhaps it makes me a Victorian, but I’m a firm believer in leaving things to the imagination & reserving certain glimpses of my body for my significant other.

    That said, I think this article perfectly coincides with the “Tasteless Jokes” article by Ms. Kroll. Why must everything be so damn serious nowadays?

  35. JB Bridgeman

    I’m going to go ahead and say that girls do not “gossip” with their “girlfriends” later when creeps like you stare at their boobs for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

  36. Simran K.

    After being a student here for 4 years, I am very sensitive to the type of humor in the culture around me. After my time at Mary Washington, after participating in the cultural awareness and diversity programming at UMW I can not find the language of this article funny.

    I don’t want to go on a slippery slope either but what is next sexclamations? Black people and hypersexuality, the animal nature that makes white men want to rape black women? Latina women and their hips? Asian women and how exotic they are? Middle Eastern women for the mystery? Seriously…it’s not funny and I pray I never develop this kind of sense of humor, I really hope I don’t. This kind of humor is the kind of humor that is hurtful, it is painful and it is saddening. This is the kind of humor our society needs Freedom from. We are slaves to treating each other disrespectfully, we are guilty of not searching our hearts and minds to ask: why is this kind of humor okay? For those of you who find this funny, I hope you will endeavor to learn more about how this is NOT funny, for your own good, for your own future.

  37. Cassandra

    “For those of you who find this funny, I hope you will endeavor to learn more about how this is NOT funny, for your own good, for your own future.”

    Is there a guidebook out there to help me understand what is acceptably funny, & what isn’t? Can I be tutored in politically-correct humor?

    How about, instead of policing what is offensive or inoffensive, we just thicken our skin? People can only hurt you as much as you allow them to hurt you.

    And also, I’m sorry, after 4 years at college you’re suddenly cultured & diversified? College is a microcosm, especially in a place as small as Fburg/UMW.

    We take some Feminism or Sociology 101 classes & suddenly we’re gurus.

  38. Erin

    If women would just stay in the kitchen this wouldn’t be a problem.

  39. Anonymous

    I am 12 years old and what does this mean?

  40. Jillian-Rose

    You cannot say that this is “ammunition for men to remain misogynistic and to perpetuate a culture that treats women as less than equal.” We aren’t living in the 50’s! Women today are treated fairly, and even if there are some situations where women have to work a little harder to prove themselves, then they should do it, instead of complain, because that only aids to the stereotype of women taking things to personal and being too emotional- which, by these comments you do take things too personal and you are too emotional.

    Women make jokes about men ALL the time! About how stupid, slow, dirty, or smelly they can be 😉 . They don’t bitch and wine when they are joked about, so why can’t you learn to just take a freaking joke?!

  41. Anonymous

    Oh god, they’ve formed a Facebook page about it too. Since when were computers installed in kitchens?

  42. Anonymous


    It’s the double standard, followed by glorious hypocrisy, and then for an extra-curricular activity, some “Calling the Kettle Black.”

    I believe that the Mary Washington campus has become a battleground, and I for one am more than willing to support my first amendment right to say things that people will most definitely believe to be offensive. You don’t have to listen. Fact.
    You don’t have to care. Fact.
    You can say whatever you want. Fact.
    You can damn well believe I won’t take it sitting down though.

  43. Sara

    PRO TIP: f this was intended as satire, it didn’t really come across very well. I guess you can see that already, though. Usually stuff like this doesn’t work out if it looks like someone could have written it as a serious thing.

  44. Anonymous

    PRO TIP: “If” is spelt with an “I” at the beginning. I should hope you can see that, though. Usually, stuff isn’t taken seriously when the spelling and grammar is in poor taste.

  45. Anonymous

    Oh gosh, my bad everyone! I too pulled a form of hypocrisy on this page like the majority of other responders!

    You can change that to “are in poor taste.”

    Guess that’s why I’m an uneducated male troll on this page. I’m just too busy ogling at female flesh.

  46. anon

    How stereotypical is it that a bunch of women are overreacting to this?

  47. McLane Heckman

    Unfortunately, I came back to this page expecting to see a consensus of outrage. While most seem to be able to see the underlying problem here, some also seem to find this article funny or to not understand the significance of what’s at stake.

    Satire? Please – this is nothing if not blatant sexism manifested as hetero-normative, entitled, and ignorant humor, which has unfortunately found its way to a platform far too large for its own good under the guise of satire.

    Satire uses comedic devices in, “exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.” This article surely exposes the reality that is a woman’s challenge in guiding the dangerous dichotomy of Madonna/whore. It also, however, not so subtly manages to perpetuate and legitimize the entitlement men have granted themselves in objectifying and thereby possessing women. Satire is a refined art form which manages to address a problem while simultaneously ensuring that it is identified as such. This is a parody, and damn shameful at that.

    If you’ll excuse the pun, let’s not kid ourselves. This is a serious problem in a society of which we are all members, and addressing it in a manner which allows for parts of a woman’s body to be literally represented as objects which can later be referred to as delicious is disgusting.

  48. Paul Morris

    Anon stop sucking so badly. Troll harder.

    Guys (I hope using that term isn’t politically incorrect.)

    Japan is in ruins and in need of our help,
    Libya is in need of our help,
    Tunisia is in need of our help.

    Women, take the joke (however poorly delivered) and stop thinking you’re so important. Because you aren’t, your “being offended” at this minuscule article means so little compared to anything else that is going on right now. Yet you’re so well-informed.

    Please, please for the love of God stop talking. Not because you’re a woman should your opinions be quieted, no, because you’re stupid.

  49. Cassandra

    If women present themselves as objects, is it not natural to objectify them? This is why I’ll never understand feminism.

  50. Anonymous

    Irrelevant UMW grad is irrelevant.

  51. Anonymous

    U mad, Paul?

    Using your logic:
    Women are unimportant.
    Women overreact.
    Women should stop talking.
    Women are stupid.

    You sir, you are my second favorite person up here other than Sir Calvin himself.

  52. Paul Morris

    >> Implying that UMW grad is laughing at stupid little girls stamping angrily in their ignorance.

    “I can dress however I want & sleep with whom I want because I’m a feminist! I don’t have a good job because I’m oppressed! I got raped because men are animals!”

    The easiest group to make money off of is the blindly enraged stupid ones.

    Thanks guys. <3 I'm going to keep investing money in the porn industry.

  53. Anonymous

    Awwwwww, Paul. Thank you for pulling the rape card into this. Now we trolls will have more a ammunition as the females unite.

  54. Katie

    To the author of this article: Next time you write a satirical article, please write about something that no one holds a really strong opinion about, instead of making light of a double standard that reinforces gender inequality in our society and has negative consequences for both men and women.
    As an author, you need to keep in mind who your readers are as you are writing an article. Many students may not understand how satire can be used to draw attention to an important issue that needs to be discussed so that progress can be made to deal with that issue.
    I don’t know if it was your intention to point out the double standard that exists in order to facilitate discussion on the subject, but I know it was not your intention to offend people. Therefore, I would suggest that you use satire more cautiously when writing articles for the Bullet and maybe avoid writing about gender-related issues.

  55. Anonymous

    Bad former troll is bad.

    I’m disappointed.

  56. Paul Morris

    To the anon that replied at 11:11.

    Really? Are you really that blind?

    1. Women are unimportant when they are being stupid.
    2. Women overreact when they are presented with something, and instead of thinking clearly they become full of rage, automatically making their opinion secondary to any facts they have.
    3. Women should stop talking if they are being stupid about it.
    4. Women are stupid when they’re being stupid.

    The same goes for men you idiot. Men make the same stupid mistakes.

    Seriously, just try to make money in life. Throw away any opinions you have, throw all passion you have away. If we all just tried to make money, no-one would ever be offended ever again.

    Just because I hate women, doesn’t mean I don’t hate men. I hate black people if they are stupid, I hate Asian people if they are stupid, I hate Indian people if they are stupid, I hate white people if they are stupid. No-one “deserves” anything. I hate you if you’re stupid regardless of race, sex, or creed. I’m the most accepting person on this forum. I think everyone (including women) should look at something offensive and laugh at it. That automatically makes that “offensive material” weak. Instead, this guy is going to get more readers and more publicity. Good job, you gave the “offensive writer” exactly what he wanted. Now, he’ll just shell out some same old same old unapology, and this will all be forgotten in a few weeks. But he’ll have something to put on his resume.

  57. A guy

    Guess it’s that time of the month again.

  58. anonymous

    @Paul Morris

    So, should the men “for the love of God stop talking” as well? Or just the women? A few of them seem just as outraged as the women responding….are they also stupid and uninformed? Hmmm…….

    Just because this lame article is causing a stir and people are voicing their opinions about it doesn’t mean we’re all unconcerned with what’s happening elsewhere in the world. Clearly, this article is directly affecting UMW students at this moment, and we have the forum to respond to it. What’s more, the issue being tossed around here is an ongoing one that affects and applies to women all over the globe. There is no excuse for being ignorant of this fact. Even if you happen to be a white, upperclass, heterosexual male.

  59. anonymous

    @ Cassandra

    Are you so severe on your own sex?

  60. Anonymous


  61. Lindsay

    This proposal of modesty is no modest proposal, and you, sir, are no Johnathan Swift.

  62. H.D.

    I’m pretty sure this all just stems from womb envy.

  63. Cassandra

    “Are you so severe on your own sex?”

    Yes, as everyone should be. Everyone should be severe on themselves, take responsibility for one’s own actions. The problem is everyone tries to pass the buck. They stand behind excuses.
    I don’t. I expect more from women, which makes me the truest feminist there is.

  64. Paul Morris


    Anon using tumblr lingo, you clearly know me lol. Why don’t you tell me your name! I think I’m still following your tumblr! (You guys both sucked in the play by the way.)

    Men have no place in issues involving women. A person is their own island. Like I said, I’m the most hope filled person on this forum, all because I think everyone in the world is strong enough to overcome anything. I am constantly disappointed.

    Just because I disagree with you doesn’t make me think you are stupid. It is how you say it. Any male who inserts his opinion on this issue is automatically an idiot. Including myself, but I know all my darkest secrets, and being an idiot is the lesser of many evils, so I’m okay with that.

    A male should not agree or disagree with anything to do with feminism. If it’s something that has to do with the law, yes. However, if it is something that depends on opinion. Why should a male give any thought to it? A male that agrees with you is a “nice guy.” A male that disagrees with you is “a woman hater.”

    I am neither. I don’t care about your feelings. I hope you don’t care about mine. I only care about my own thoughts. These “outraged” males can only congratulate you women on something that would be purely YOUR victory. I don’t want to be around someone like that.

    I’m the one you want to trust. The person who says “You’re offended by that? Oh I don’t care.” however that is the same person who will say to you “I will fight to the death for you if some male thinks he can attack you because he is stronger than you.” Not because you are a woman will I fight for you, but because you are a human being.

    I hate all races and sexes and creeds when they are stupid. But I love people when they show a single amount of self respect. Not pride, but a glowing self worth that can surpass any stupid hurtful or offensive remark. I have very few friends because of this, but the ones I do have are magnificent.

  65. Cassandra

    Also, I think that perspective is really dangerous, “your own gender.” Should I excuse certain things because I’m a woman, or jump on every feminist bandwagon because I’m a woman? I’m a person first & a woman second. Which means my failures, my success, my opinions are my own, not my gender’s.

  66. Magan

    Well. This really blew up in the last few hours.

    I’ve been thinking about this whole thing about if women are making themselves objects, shouldn’t they be objectified thing. Really, it’s an invalid argument.

    A couple of weeks ago, I was cat called while wearing jeans, a baggy coat, a scarf and sunglasses that covered half of my face. I couldn’t control how men objectify my body even if I wanted to. My clothes have nothing to do with it, they never have.

    Secondly, I think the reason that people are so sensitive about this right now and were not quick to see this as satire is because of how much turmoil women’s rights is going through. Any person who cares about women’s rights would be quick to strike back against an article like this regardless of its alleged satirical nature. I don’t see a problem with that. It’s better than silence.

  67. Bryan

    Honestly, I think there’s been a huge over-reaction here. Its obvious from the choice of words that it was satire. The quality of said satire is up for debate, but I don’t think it matters. What I’m pretty sure happened here is some overzealous feminazis jumped the gun and pounced on Calvin. Once they made it obvious it was satire, they couldn’t back down. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a feminist admit they over-reacted.

    Katie, your comment stood out. Your post was fair enough, except I don’t think he could have anticipated that roughly 80% of the feminist population would have blindly raged. I honestly see very few attacks on the contents of the article and more personal attacks on him. Its worse than when someone wrote that article that pissed off all the potheads.

    Coincidentally, pot is illegal. Sexism is not.

    Calvin’s a good guy, guys. I really don’t think this is as much of an issue as its being blown up to be. There are greater offenses against women that you can devote energy to.

  68. Hey guys, it’s Bill again. Y’all are way over-thinking this problem. Men would stop looking at other girls boobs if they just had a set of their own to play with. I know from personal experience. I haven’t had to look at Hillary’s since I became fat and got my own set of fun bags.

  69. Paul Morris

    God bless you Mr. President.

  70. anon

    This may be helpful to those who think they know the difference between man and woman and clearly do not know the difference between gender and sex.

    “Can we refer to a “given” sex or a “given” gender without first inquiring into how sex and/or gender is given, through what means? And what is “sex” anyway? Is it natural, anatomical, chromosomal, or hormonal, and how is a feminist critic to assess the scientific discourses which purport to establish such “facts” for us? Does sex have a history? Does each sex have a different history, or histories? Is there a history of how the duality of sex was established, a genealogy that might expose the binary options as a variable construction? Are the ostensibly natural facts of sex discursively produced by various scientific discourses in the service of other political and social interests? If the immutable character of sex is contested, perhaps this construct called “sex” is as culturally constructed as gender; indeed, perhaps it was always already gender, with the consequence that the distinction between sex and gender turns out to be no distinction at all.” Judith Butler, Gender Trouble pg. 6

  71. Cassandra

    So, if men do that anyway, why should we encourage it – invite it, really – by dressing scantily?

  72. Keller

    this isn’t ‘comedic gold’. if a satire is funny then why am I not laughing?

    maybe you should try a satire on pedophilia, rape, or genocide?

    clearly the more horrible the subject the funnier the satire according to your logic.

    or maybe all of this is just a stunt to get people to actually read the bullet… unfortunately this has had the opposite effect on me at least. clearly as a paper, writer, or an editor, you can’t produce anything worthwhile. i want news, not bull**** stunts and bad taste.

  73. Magan

    You know as well as I do that I don’t, but it happens anyway. The idea of being scantily clad is subjective, and, because of my own experiences, I don’t think the majority of women actively encourage male aggression.

    As someone said earlier, men are not weak, women are not weak, ignorance is weak.

  74. Paul Morris

    Stop scrambling for acceptance. When you give someone a warning about trigger words, all you’re doing is making them weaker. You’re patting them on the head saying “I made the choice for you that you won’t be able to emotionally handle this.” Why not instead assume that the person has some self respect. Though they may not like something presented to them, they can handle it. Instead we’re all just pawing like a throng of dirty animals for this “equality” when all it does is make everyone weak. “The difference between an animal and a man is the belief that there is one.” CL

  75. anonymous

    I wish I could dress less scantily but not everyone can sport a VCU Arts hoodie and ratty jeans everyday…although god knows I do love showing off my muffin top.

  76. Boobs

    I am a woman. I have boobs. Big ones actually. I get cat called. I get “oogled”. However, I find this article funny, as it was meant to be. It is clearly satire, and people are taking this far too seriously. Yes, there are potentially men out there who do view women in a negative way, merely as objects of sexual gratification, but I don’t think the writer or editor of this piece meant it in such a harmful way. In fact, the writer has posted an apology on here, and I feel like everybody is simply ignoring that. He has stated that it was supposed to be satire, and that he is sorry to anyone he offended.
    I feel like people take things like this far too seriously. It does not endorse rape or sexual harassment in any way. To the girls and guys who are bitching about this article, answer me this; when you are at the beach and you see a member of the sex you are attracted to half naked, do you look? Even briefly? Because if the answer is yes, then you are guilty of objectifying that person. It is human nature to look at what we find attractive. And personally, as a strong woman, I am actually kind of flattered by men when they show interest, even if it is just a fleeting glance as I walk past.

    To summarize; People need to cheer up.

    Boobs x

  77. Cassandra

    @ Magan
    No, I know you don’t dress that way, & I wasn’t accusing you of such. I meant girls in general, the girls who perhaps inspired this article/satire/whatever.

  78. Paul Morris

    “I wish I could dress less scantily but not everyone can sport a VCU Arts hoodie and ratty jeans everyday…although god knows I do love showing off my muffin top.”

    There’s acceptance for ya…. All these people do is complain about how mean everyone is yet they’re the ones who perpetuate it. They will jump at any chance to attack someone on a personal level yet at the same time hide their identity. It’s cute how womanish you’re being. 😉

  79. Natalie

    Has anyone noticed that nobody really reads The Bullet unless something ridiculously grotesque such as this article is published? Maybe that’s red flag number one.

    Here’s red flag number two: Calvin claims that he is hiding behind the excuse of the comedic tradition of satire to shove his pathetic justification of sexual exploitation in everyones faces.

    Red flag number three: Half of the people commenting on this article are attempting to legitimize the “satire” and defending it with the argument that women should not even be reading this garbage because they should be in the kitchen.

    Conclusion: The bottom line is that this is a pathetic attempt at humor and you might want to reconsider your career path. Perhaps Don Imus would like to hear from you, but besides him nobody will want to listen to your worthless, misogynistic opinions. Maybe if you read a feminist book or two you could minimize the time spent in your dorm masturbating to fake lesbian porn and maximize time spent meeting the lovely, real women who are respectable and educated on our campus. But, you probably won’t.

  80. Megan

    @Boobs, you are so right. I too, am flattered when I dress attractively and consider it a compliment to be ogled. Though I do find it annoying when I get catcalled while looking “frumpy” and rocking the dirty jeans/baggy sweatshirt look. If women dress sexily, it’s only fair to be ogled. Otherwise it’s like putting a nice rare steak on the ground and then punishing the dog for eating it while you weren’t looking…

    Also, I am TOTALLY guilty of ogling men. Especially when they’re jogging down campus shirtless. They make for very nice eye candy. 🙂

  81. @Megan: Why would you be insulted that you’re getting ogled when you didn’t try to look attractive? Wouldn’t that just mean you’re attractive enough that you didn’t have to dress up? Though I guess that depends on the catcalls. I’m not sure if I’ve ever ACTUALLY seen someone get catcalled in real life.

  82. Anonymous

    I wish anons wouldn’t try to stand up for something one way or the other. I mean, the fact that you’re responding as anon automatically should turn you into a troll. It’s about the lulz. The internet is NOT serious business.

    Now, Calvin isn’t hiding behind anything. You all are assuming that he should feel ashamed about this article. In fact, it was a well written article that did exactly what certain pieces should. It gets students (even graduates) talking. Granted it isn’t the attention that some think would be good, but it does get a crowd talking.

    Also, in regard to the gathering that feminists are planning in retaliation, more power to you. It’s good to see you standing up for something. One thing, though: Try do it over in Jefferson Square or in someone’s apartment. We already have one useless thing in Ball Circle that way makes too much noise.

  83. Katie

    To Bryan:
    I think it was good that you pointed out in your comment that people are attacking the author more than they are debating the content of this article.
    I agree with you that people are over-reacting to this article because the author already said that he did not intend to offend anybody. However, as a woman, when I initially read this article, I was rather offended by it.
    Although the author obviously did not anticipate that his article would get this much negative attention, he needs to keep in mind that most UMW students are not going to find the content of this article funny in the least bit. It came off as a personal attack against both women and men, instead of making light of situational factors that influence how both men and women wear less clothes as the weather gets warmer.
    At this point, people need to stop thinking that the author is sexist because he did not intend for the content of this article to be taken seriously.

  84. Anonymous

    Dearest Katie,

    Who are you to assume that “most” of the student body would find this offensive? Many men who read this would think it humorous (and because I have shown many men this article and they have laughed, I feel it is good to use the word many). I do find this funny, and you cannot take the word of solely friends and other responders on this topic in regard to the humor content.
    Also, if you add in the fact about the Facebook group on this article, then I would point out that 69 people attending does not make this that significant. Then add in that half of that amount of people are NOT attending, and that only approximately 200 more people were invited. I do not find that as a good standard to suggest that “most” UMW students would not find this funny.
    Please keep your assumptions away. If you assume something, it makes an ass out of you and me. I do not wish to be called an ass.

  85. Original Snark

    lololololololol can’t we all just agree already that leggings aren’t pants and move on?

    i suggest everyone go read last week’s thought you knew column

  86. JB Bridgeman

    In reference to Paul Morris:

  87. Paul Morris

    J.B. I am not the first alum to comment on the bullet, nor will I be the last. I have the next few days off of work and I’m bored/fighting against a cold. I can easily admit that I could have “better things to do” But I’d much rather sit in my room enjoying the slight buzz I have from St. Patrick’s day related shots me and my boss just had.

    I could just post as an anonymous (as your coward little friends did) but I felt obliged to state my opinions with my name along side it.

    I have a deep disappointment in you J.B. Troll harder bro/mudkip/the game/ etc etc etc.

    Go write a blog about me or something if you’re really that interested in me inputting my pointless opinions on a pointless forum about a pointless matter stemming from a pointless situation.

  88. Anonymous

    Over nine thousand people agree that the feminists on this page have taken their argument way too far.

  89. Lauren

    To anyone who is at all interested, this clip contains a portion from the documentary “War Zone,” that is all about what this article discusses. It’s worth watching!

  90. AwesomeSauce23


  91. Lauren

    Mom, help me, I can’t stop rolling my eyes.

  92. Anonymous

    HEY! HEY! HEY!

    That video was awful. It may be pertinent, but might I ask you who would spend the time to watch that? I stopped about a minute in.

  93. Anonymous

    Paul Morris,


  94. Katie

    Dearest Anonymous (MARCH 17, 2011 AT 2:00 PM),
    There is no need to get personal here. I was voicing my opinion as are you, and I would like to think that neither of us are “asses.”

    I’ll admit that I did make an assumption when I said that most people would not find this article funny. However, you cannot say that my assumption is inaccurate based on the “many” men you talked to who thought this article was humorous.

    You also make an assumption when you say that “Many men who read this would think it humorous”; you just use the word “many” instead of “most” in your assumption. Thus, you are guilty of exactly what you accused me of doing.

  95. Lauren

    It is awful, and unfortunately, it’s truthful.

  96. Zoe Peters

    There is a serious lack of respect for women in male culture today, one I know many of women (at least, me) have been dealing with since puberty. And while this article only refers to “ogling,” the line between ogling and outright breast-grabbing and comment-making (more common than you’d like to think) is thin enough that any presentation of objectification being a socially acceptable reaction to the female form is dangerous ground for our SCHOOL RUN NEWSPAPER to be advocating.

    Not only is this article offensive to those who find unwarranted attention uncomfortable (most women), but it promotes an unsavory environment for our student population.


  97. Catherine

    Team Calvin 🙂

  98. Anonymous

    Dearest Katie,

    You must admit, I’m Anonymous. I can be politically incorrect. I can say most. Let’s take a poll to see how much people like this article. I bet you that the majority will laugh. No, better yet. I bet you that the majority of people WON’T CARE.

  99. Katie

    Dearest Anonymous,
    Are you saying that because you are anonymous you are allowed to make assumptions, and I am not? So you are held to different standards then I am. Thus, I will not consider any of your criticisms to apply to me because you and I are apparently on two different levels.

    Furthermore, if you think that most people “WON’T CARE” about this article, then why on you wasting your time commenting on it?

  100. Anonymous

    Duh, winning

  101. Bryan

    Katie, I’m glad to see reason, even if I disagree with much of your viewpoint.


    Honestly, if somebody were to read this article and actually think it justification for sexual harassment, then there is something seriously wrong with the person, not with the article.

    I understand that people have the right to take away whatever meaning they want to from a written opinion, regardless of the author’s intention. However, when what you read in the article is not what the author intended, it isn’t correct to assume that the author is a smelly, unbathed rapist.

    To me, that’s no different than watching someone standing on a corner in a tube top and daisy dukes. I see that person, and I think, she’s dressed like a prostitute. That’s okay to think. But what people often do is say “wow, a hooker”. And all she has is bad fashion sense and a need to wait for her ride.

    This being a schoolrun newspaper has nothing to do with it. Its an opinions article. These are specifically stated to not reflect the opinions of the rest of the staff at the paper. Or would prefer if mob opinion ran our press today. Because the mob is what is objectifying women, according to you.

    Since puberty? Really? You mean puberty, when we are hard-wired to be DTF? You could have picked a better time. We’ve been working to control testosterone for thousands of years, and we’ve made progress, but puberty is an age where its damn near rocket fuel. That’s a biological thing, not a society thing

    There’s a lot of men who respect the female form. The problem we face as a society is, as I view it, this. Many women like assertive guys. Some women like asses. Some women like ‘bad boys’. As a result, if a guy wants to be noticed, he feels like he has to be assertive. This could cause him to step over the line unintentionally. Or he could be a jackass, but follow me here.

    I’m not saying its womens’ fault for going for the guys who treat them like a toy. But I am saying its more than just guys getting together and saying “lets keep dem bitches in der place!”.

    See: Alpha male, brah.

    Natalie, I have two things to say to you.
    First, 99% of men masturbate. The other 1% is probably lying. Don’t try and make it shameful.

  102. Steven Brown

    To the people who responded to this article by/including insulting Calvin himself: you, while entitled to your own opinion, need to stop. You call him a misogynist and completely attack his character in response to SATIRE. Do you yourselves know Calvin specifically, or are you just assuming he is an ass? I know Calvin, and I respect him very much. Plus, I doubt he’d have a girlfriend if he were truly a misogynist.

    While the article was meant to be a satire, it brings up some points that I personally have experienced. I’m guilty of ogling, as is everyone. People do indeed like to look at that which they find attractive. And I’ll admit, I may look for too long sometimes, but always at the face-eyes to me are prettier than breasts anyways. Am I a creeper? No, I’m actually a nice guy if you attempt to befriend me.

    My problem with it comes from when either my friends or I get confronted about the supposed lecherous acts. We get called “creepers” or worse, when the situation itself stems from attraction. We find you attractive. If you found us attractive and saw us ogling at you, would you mind? Didn’t think so. (By the way, I get called creepy for looking at women’s’ eyes. I’m sorry, was there somewhere else you wanted me to look?) To quote my stepfather: “If you’re going to advertise, you can’t complain about who responds.”

    So go ahead, wear what you like. More power to you. But when the entire top half of your bosom is revealed, remember that you chose to wear that shirt for a reason, knowing full well it would expose that much skin. And no, that is not akin to the rapist scenario expressed in prior comments. Rape is voluntary; attraction is not.

    NB: This is just my opinion, which I am entitled to, as are you all. If you do have responses, keep them clean, please. If you do, however, feel the need to insult me or tell me how incorrect you feel I am, the most likely place to find me is the Eagle Landing 4th floor ping pong table.

  103. Lauren

    LOL @ men who assume that all feminists are against pornography.

  104. Anon

    This is not porn. I promise.

  105. Lindsay!5783453/spring-is-no-excuse-for-street-harassment

    Check out the above link for an excellent response to this “satire”

  106. Anonymous

    Kind of curious as to why staring is inappropriate.

  107. Rachel

    I consider myself a strong feminist and I must say I was not offended at all by this article. I do agree with one person who pointed at that men cat call women no matter what they wear, scarves and all, but it is a lot worse if you wear a shirt with your boobs completely popping out. This doesn’t mean you have to completely cover up.. a dress is fine obviously. BUT if you do wear something extremely revealing, it is kind of asking for extra attention. If you like it, go for it! If not, maybe cover up a tad more. Choice is yours, you just have to be prepared for reactions. We’re humans!

  108. Anonymous

    Let’s see which articles offend people tomorrow! 😀

  109. Tess Carson

    People need to get their panties out of a bunch. It is VERY obvious that the article is dripping with sarcasm. I personally know Calvin and can tell you that he is not a misogynist. I doubt he would have such a wonderful and sweet girlfriend (who I doubt would be with him if he was truly what you guys are calling him). As for all the other mean stuff people are posting: GROW UP. It is insulting and rude and I do not believe UMW should be allowing people to attack one student like this. Don’t you guys have anything else better to do than insult someone for writing a satirical article? What about the other actual IMPORTANT issues on campus that everyone else is ignoring? If you do not like what someone is saying, then prove your point using logical reasoning and intellect. Don’t stoop to belittling the person who wrote it. GET OVER IT.

  110. Lauren

    “Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon.”

  111. Nikki Nishi

    This is a well done piece of satiric journalism. Kudos. Other staff writers could stand to follow your example.

  112. Brad

    I am enraged by words! Erase them please or I threaten to make another comment on this sartre.

  113. Anonymous

    Yes, it is a weapon to make sure that the people who wear shirts that flash everyone, or skirts and shorts that moon the people behind know what they’re getting themselves into.

    I hope so dearly that this article does ridicule the people who are guilty of those actions. But most importantly, I hope it shames the people who believe that this article is hateful/spiteful/misogynistic/not funny.

    You can have your opinion, but you had best be open to other ideas. Yes, people think this is funny. Others think it is hateful. You can have your debate and forum crap, but do you think it’s going to change anything? Calvin has admitted he likes the article. A lot of the student body has admitted they like the article. Granted there has been a minute burst of opposition, if other females (and males…let’s not be sexist) think it is funny, then why do you think that the rest of the student body should all align themselves with your opinion?

    By the way, obnoxious posters are obnoxious. I hope you all enjoy my posters that will soon be going up.

  114. Rachel

    This article is MALARKY! Everyone is in control of what they do and don’t do. Men, be a man and learn how to appreciate women in an appropriate and gentleman-like way. It has been my experience that if a women dresses like that it is to elicit a certain reaction. So, if you are the one who is “ogling” her, then, you have succeeded in giving her what she wants.

    Men, you can be strong enough to do what is right. I know its hard, but we all have to learn some time. Its not that women are better at not getting caught, its that women are still expected to have a sense of decency and not to look at every piece of meat that moves.

    Deal with it, get over it, and be a better person for it.

  115. Anonymous


    Now I’m going to go on campus and get my eyeful of it.

  116. Sam

    I object to this article on the grounds that it is offensive to satirists.

  117. Beth

    I am utterly ashamed at the work the UMW Bullet is putting out there. I graduated class of 2010, and this is how you repay my loyal contributions as an alum? For shame. I mean, it’s as if the newspaper department was actually AWARE of high writing styles such as SATIRE. How could a public, liberal arts institution stand for such blatant disrespect of women, especially an institution named after one belonging to said sex?

    I see your satire, and raise one with sarcasm. 😉 Keep up the good work.

  118. Anonymous

    There are no such things as racism, sexism, and all those other -isms. However, there are jokes about race, sex, and those other things. Take it as those.

    The only time you should take offense is if those jokes are hateful and directed towards you. That is called prejudice. If thinking that one race or sex is better than the other is prejudice, then what makes the feminists’ claims any different? You may say otherwise, but in all honesty, you’re taking the female over all others? If this was a paper on men running in their track shorts and no shirts, what would you feminists say? That they shouldn’t be ogled at? They run like that because it is most comfortable. And if they’re watched, it just rolls off of their back. Learn to do the same.

  119. Are they going to pull that mayhem commercial where the guy crashes his car while looking at the woman jogging.

  120. Anonymous

    For the record, I am a female and I believe this article is GOLD.

    If you are bitter about people ogling you, slap a smile on your face. A smile is the most attractive quality a person possesses. If you walk around with a sour look on your face, why would anyone want to look at it? It’s really quite simple: if you smile, people will look at your face; if you don’t smile, the eyes wander.

    Lose the bitterness, ladies. It’s not an attractive quality.

  121. Anonymous

    Oh, feminists.

  122. RM

    I can’t quite understand why may college co-eds are getting all worked up over this satirical, well written op-ed article. For anyone to assume that this piece is in any way referring to why sexual assults occur is way off base. People who assult women are mentally ill and need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. But unfortunately these crimes are commited throughout the entire year regardless of whether the female victim is in a tank top or a down jacket.

    This column is merely poking fun at male college students who naturally look, fantasize, and go numb at every hot female they cannot help starring at. And I cannot believe that every female on campus is offended. I don’t believe it’s that hot in the burg that requires tank tops and short shorts until school is out in early May. So chill out all you co-eds and appreciate the compliments. When you are in your 40’s these oglings may not be so frequent.

  123. Anonymous

    Let me aid you, RM, with a well-written revision.

    *”So chill out all you current Mary Washington co-eds, and appreciate the compliments. When you are in your 40’s, these oglings WILL NOT HAPPEN.”

    Also, the majority of the males will never be numb during their four year stay here.

  124. jerk

    can’t believe how ignorant the “Alabama or Iran” comment is, on top of not being funny in any way. What a crappy writer.

  125. Anonymous

    Nice grammar, numbnuts. You want to try discrediting Calvin again, but this time in a way that we don’t think of you as the most stupid human being alive?

  126. Elaine (Calvin's Mom) Sherwood

    I guess reading Calvin all those Dave Barry books at bedtime had an effect. He drooled a lot as a baby too.

  127. Anonymous

    Mrs. Sherwood,
    You have raised a phenomenal son. He most definitely deserves the good attention he has garnered with this article, as he is truly outspoken and a gentleman. UMW would be lost in a sea of low cut tops and booty shorts if he did not step in. For his actions, I thank you.

  128. Anonymous

    Honestly don’t see why that is offensive. To all you girls who act ‘offended’, just admit it already. You like being ogled. You just want attention, and that’s exactly what you’re getting. Congratulations.

  129. Thea (calvin's sister)

    Not being sexist against myself, but girls ask for it. A lot. This article is completely true, not to mention hilarious! Calvin, I’ll have to get you another Dave Barry book for your birthday or something to supply you with more ammunition! If you don’t want guys seeing your bouncing buddha’s, then pull up your shirt. Simple as that.

  130. Ellie


  131. Anonymous

    Shall we make this the most popular article on the Bullet’s website and reach 160?

    I’ve just done my part!

  132. Christian

    Bad journalism or bad satire. Either way, readers lose.

  133. Anonymous

    I don’t know….I feel as though I’ve just won by reading this.

    And for the record, it is neither bad journalism NOR bad satire. Please refrain from using either of those to describe this article.

  134. Perry (GUP)

    Ogle by definition is not lecherous. Both Men and Women do it, I think human nature to look amorously or flirtingly. Eye contact is often made, and sometimes avoided. When I am caught I often get a smile, and then I smile back. I think some Women like it and even have eyes in the back of their head glancing back often to confirm a look. Taste can be an issue, but to ask anyone to cover up is missing a lot of fun. Cherish your Woman and get used to the glances of others. BTW, I am Calvin’s Great Uncle Perry.

  135. Sir Perry, I know exactly what you mean. And if you ever ask someone to cover up because you can’t stop looking, it is then taken as an offense as well. Feminism; the root of all fun-killers.