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The Blue & Gray Press | August 19, 2019

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Your Bullet Hurricane Survival Kit


1. Alcohol

Even though Carl at 7 Eleven might judge you severely for driving in serious thunderstorm conditions, even though you had to take three detours from Princess Anne to Jefferson Davis, even though trees are falling in the road in front of you…you still need something to do, right?!  Obviously, you are of legal drinking age.

2.  Lunchables

Today at Giant, I searched the aisles up and down for non-perishable food.  I ended up with three different types of crackers before finding the bliss of my childhood: lunchables.  Every kid was jealous when you pulled yours out of the lunch box in elementary school, and they will be now as they munch on Wheat Thins and you have your pepperoni pizza waiting for you.

3.  Flashlights

According to a UMW e-mail, candles should not be lit during a hurricane.  And we need light sources other than our cell phones?!  Well, not only do flashlights solve both of these problems, but they can also provide hours of entertainment.

Shadow puppets, obviously.  How very “Little House on the Prairie.”  But hey, with nothing else to do, your “my swan can beat your swan” seems pretty appealing, right?

4. Scrabble
So, your iPhone is dead and you can’t play Words with Friends.  Next best thing: real letter tiles and real friends.  BAM.  Mind blown.

5.  Candles

I know we said this wasn’t advised, but seances are the best way to kill time.  And if the hurricane doesn’t kill you, boredom will.



  1. Matt M

    Well good luck on the flashlights, yesterday I was out shopping for a max/min thermometer to put in our freezer and noticed that basically any and every store that sells anything that can be used to see in the dark was sold out. HomeDepot had like 5 MagliteLED lights but that was it, and those were being grabbed up as I went past. Every other store was alredy sold out by mid-morning.

  2. Lunchables are the bane of any man’s existence. When people tell me how delicious they are, I just have to sit there and think for a moment: Would I trust these people to make me a packed lunch if they ever offered? My answer would be no…as I happen to love wheat thins a hell of a lot more than things with these nutritional facts (

    Mmmmm, if I have a wheat thin, and you have a wheat thin, and I have a hand, that goes acroooooooosssssssss the room…I eat your wheat thin…I eat it up! Om nom nom.