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The Blue & Gray Press | October 22, 2017

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Relationship goals: how to get your ex back

Relationship goals: how to get your ex back

By HANNAH PARKER

1. Constantly call him.

If you aren’t incessantly texting and calling him, leaving him voicemails every  hour, how will he know that you want him back? The only way to let him know  you still want him, is to never let his phone be empty. Hit him up at all hours of  the day, and he’ll be back in your arms in no time!

2. Stalk his friends and family.

His friends and family are the people closest to him- which means you’ll get  closer to him! See what they are doing then follow them around until they will  finally talk to you, once he sees how invested you are in the people he cares  about, he’ll start caring again for you too!

3. Log into his social media accounts.

Still have his passwords saved to your phone? Log back in! Check his Twitter  DMs and whose pictures he’s been liking on Instagram, and who’s liking his. This way  you can rid-off all the other girls that are trying to get in the way of you and your  ex’s fate!

4. Take the same classes as him.

He’s a bio major? Well now you are too. The only way to get him back is if you

guys have EVERYTHING in common. You may graduate three years later than

planned, but it is worth it do get your soul mate back.

5. Move into the same building as him.

Find out what apartment building he is living in and make sure you are assigned to the  same building and floor, and if it is possible try to get the room right next door! He  will just have to take you back if fate brought you two right next to each other!

6. Make tweets, Instagram posts and Facebook statuses about him.

If you aren’t constantly showing the rest of the world how much you love him and  miss him, he won’t know how much you really care. Show the world and soon  he’ll show the world right back!

7. Get them to play your song at the dining hall.

Nothing screams “MEANT TO BE” more than your song playing while you eat  across the room from each other! He’ll lock eyes with you and never turn away,  he’ll be yours forever!

8. Leave pictures of you two in all of his things.

A little surprise picture of you two as a reminder of your love in his backpack,  underwear drawer or even shower will make him regret ever leaving you!

9. Send a fake wedding invitation to him.

Seeing the future you two could have, happily married with three kids and a  golden retriever, he’ll come running back to you!

10. Fake a pregnancy.

If all else fails, and he still hasn’t picked up the clues that you two are meant to be, just tell him you’re pregnant! He’ll have no choice but to stay with you now!

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.