Administration orders rock removal
By ES HETHCOX
On the night of March 26 Student Activities and Engagements announced that UMW administration has made plans to remove the Spirit Rock. The rock is currently scheduled to be removed on April 2. Campus Police will accompany the removal crew in case of student protest.
The rock, which has been a part of UMW for decades, has been a hubbub of advertisement, birthday wishes, student camaraderie and a canvas for student expression for many years.
Many students are upset with the impending removal of the historic UMW landmark.
“I am OUTRAGED,” junior Lauren Closs said. “The rock is a valuable platform for students. If we don’t have outlets for student creativity then we are just as repressed as Liberty University students.”
Sophomore, Meaghan McIntyre, expressed her disappointment in the administration’s decision.
This administrative decision was instigated by an inappropriate image painted on the rock March 26, 2018 by an art student. The work was not part of any class, so the identity of the painter is unknown.
The guerilla artist painted a nude image of Dwayne Johnson, popularly referred to as “The Rock” on the rock.
“I was going to use the rock for my project,” McIntyre said. “I was going to do a painting of Nicolas Cage.”
While several families on tour were aghast at the remarkable likeness of the piece, certain students appreciated the accuracy of the rendition.
“It was a solid piece,” Spanish major Izzy Briones said.
Junior Ryan Brauch agreed that the piece was “above average.”
Some students voiced that the size of the rock did not accurately display the image.
“I wish the artist had chosen a different canvas, the size of the rock did not do the piece justice,” sophomore Ronic Ngambwe said.
Although the rock is slated for removal, students are already starting to figure out a different landmark to paint.
This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.