Paino’s playlist leaked to UMW
By RYAN BRAUCH
On Monday Mar. 26, personal information of University of Mary Washington President Troy Paino was leaked to the entire faculty and staff of Mary Washington campus. An anonymous student hacker was able to gain access to Paino’s email account in which they discovered Paino’s mixtape and numerous personal pictures, such as Paino in the bathtub, amongst others sent to his wife Kelly Paino.
The hacker then shared the hidden contents of the emails to the entire student body along with the entirety of the faculty and staff of both the Fredericksburg and Stafford campuses. In addition, the hacker also shared Paino’s mixtape on Spotify, Apple Music and Pandora to make it easier for students to share and listen to the President’s hot tracks.
Some of Paino’s most popular songs include: “Spending tuition”, “Straight outta Brompton”, “I kissed a squirrel” and “SUITS.”.
“It definitely sounds like something I could get down to at Bourbon Room,” said senior English major Kelly Emmrich as she jammed to “Spending Tuition”.
One group of students have taken such a liking to Paino’s music, that they have started a petition to get the President to open for rapper T-Pain for the Spring Concert in April.
“I’ve been listening to it nonstop, T-Paino opening for T-Pain would be legendary and probably the coolest thing to ever happen at UMW,” said sophomore biology major Lauren Closs.
Despite his mixtape’s rising popularity, Paino refuses to leave his house out of embarrassment and is refusing to take interviews or speak to the press.
“Everyone needs to give him some space, he made a mistake and now he is trying to figure everything out. It’s a process,” said senior women and gender studies and journalism major Es Hethcox.
As the Spring Concert draws near, students await to see if their president will take the stage and drop some bars.
This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.