Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

The Blue & Gray Press

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Why getting “friendzoned” actually has its benefits

3 min read

AJ Robinson and his good friend, Ariana Barrett. (AJ Robinson)

By AJ Robinson

Staff Writer

A lot of guys hate being in the “friend-zone.” Many of us resent being outside of a woman’s radar for potential partners. It takes a big shot at the male ego in a way that is visceral and deep. Guys often get made fun of by their male friends about being “friend-zoned.” However, there shouldn’t be any shame in having friends that are girls. In fact, girls are the best kind friends to have. With the help of a close female friend, there is nothing that a man cannot conquer.

I know guys like to often pretend they don’t have feelings, but guys may be even more emotional than girls are. It just doesn’t seem this way because society has taught us to suppress our emotions. Women are more encouraged to express their emotions and bond with each other. Meanwhile, men who openly express their emotions are often seen as spineless and weak.

This often leaves us with nowhere to turn and forces us to internalize how we’re feeling constantly. Suppressing emotions isn’t healthy in the long run and consequently can turn us into emotionless robots over time.

This is why it is a great idea to have that female friend you can lean on, who is more in touch with her emotions and will support you in expressing yours. Everyone needs someone that will just listen to them.

Female friends can also give advice about relationships with other women since guys often have a blindspot when it comes to understanding women. A close female friend can help you pick up on subtle nuances in your conversation and improve your relationship.

“We know each other very well. From the way we dress, all the way down to the tone of voice. I think we can just see so much that goes right over you guys’ heads most of the time,” said my good friend Ariana Barrett.

Female friends can be great wingmen for guys. If you ever need any help meeting someone new, having female friends is a huge advantage, especially if your friend has similar qualities to those you are looking for in a potential partner. Besides having great insight on what a girl may be thinking, she can also give you advice on how to best present yourself. She may tell you how she evaluates men and the things she looks for in a guy. She can help you decide what to say and more importantly what not to do.

“I think it’s just really beneficial to have that perspective. Even if you wanted something simple like fashion advice, asking female friends is a great way to figure out if you look good or not, and she’ll be happy to offer suggestions,” said senior Mike Janowski.

They might also have a friend they could set you up with or be willing to advocate on your behalf. If you’re around a group of women, even if they are just our friends, it will automatically make you more attractive and trustworthy to other women.

Not only do women make great, emotionally supportive friends, but it is also beneficial for men to see the female perspective. Moral to the story– go out there and get friend-zoned. It’s never shameful to make a new friend.

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