BY JOHN SHERIDAN
1. I will have a lot of free time when I graduate-
All the books and videogames that I have put off because of school will finally be mine to read/play at my leisure, and there will be a lot of leisure. So what if I can’t afford a PS3 or a damn Kindle? I still have my books and my Super Nintendo.
2. Stay in School, ‘Cause It’s the Best-
I’m hearing a lot lately from graduate friends about how they wish they were still in school. The market sucks, jobs are scarce, etc. So why be in such a rush to finish in four years? I suddenly feel so validated in my Super-seniority. Why leave college before you have to? I’m not floundering, I’m waiting for the right time to strike.
3. When I am old maybe I will be as awesome as my grandparents-
They grew up in the Great Depression, like most of our grandparents did. And like most of America, their families were dirt poor for a long time. But I’ve never heard them complain once about that period of time, never about it being the government’s fault (even if it was) or that it sucked to have nothing. Sure life was hard, but that’s how it is. People pulled themselves up by their bootstraps instead of wallowing in self-pity. As long as you’re alive, you can find happiness. If your definition of happiness requires money, then you might be screwed.
4. Reality Check-
My generation seems like it is obsessed with becoming rich and famous. Reality TV and “American Idol”-type shows are making every mindless dreg in the nation believe they deserve your full and constant attention. Every Hitler-haired scenester with a blog and YouTube thinks they can make it big with little to no effort. Maybe we need a slap in the face. Maybe we need a break from instant gratification. God forbid we would actually have to work for what we want.
5. The Perfect Excuse-
A recession is a great excuse not to do something. Can’t afford to go to the bar with your friends? It’s the recession. Forgot your anniversary? The recession made you do it. E.D. got you down? “Listen, baby, it’s not you…it’s the recession.”