The Blue & Gray Press

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Memoir on failed relationships

3 min read

Rather than brooding on a lonely Valentine’s Day this Sunday, save your tears and laugh while you read comedian Julie Klausner’s new collection of essays about her failed past relationships, “I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated.”  You can be thankful that none of her stories happened to you.

In this hilarious memoir Klausner does not hold back. She discusses everything from her first boyfriend at summer camp to the relationship she had with Colin, a very odd man twenty years her senior.

While she may not have the most relatable experiences, Klausner does an excellent job placing each of her stories in a larger context. Each essay has a distinct nugget of wisdom that Klausner is trying to impart on her audience, without being too didactic.

Although her feminist ramblings can get heavy-handed at times, Klausner is hilarious enough for that not to matter. Like a female David Sedaris, the lessons learned in Klausner’s essays are somehow simultaneously uniquely hers and applicable to every girl reading this in some way.

Klausner’s fresh and snappy language makes this book an enjoyable read from start to finish. She uses clever and unique pop culture references that serve only to enrich her already fascinating text. This book is a fun, lighthearted read that is a refreshing change from much of the drivel we are forced to endure, thanks to the popularity of writers such as Jodi Picoult and Nicolas Sparks.

This feel-good manifesto urges women to stop feeling bad about their failed relationships and sexual encounters, and to stop feeling bad about feeling bad.

She is a bold and funny woman who empowers others to embrace their mistakes and move forward, happy with a funny story about an unusual encounter, rather than stressing out because this man could have had “husband potential” but was ruined.

If this book doesn’t teach readers anything else, it’s that no matter how serious a situation seems at the time, there will always be a funny story to arise from the ashes of your dignity.

From discussing her “lack of daddy issues” to sex with a really gross dude just to boost her self-esteem, Klausner doesn’t ever sensor herself. She’s a like a big sister or a best friend who makes hilarious mistakes that you can learn from without ever having to make them yourself.

Klausner spends a lot time talking about her profession in the male-dominated comedy world and how that has negatively affected her dating life. Not that being in a male-dominated world is relatable to Mary Washington students, but if you guys ever find yourselves in a real-life situation, her wisdom on the subject may be relevant (that means cut this out and save it).

This vast array of poignant, yet hilarious essays captures the reader’s attention from the very start and keeps it through the final page.

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